Stage 2: Infidelity & Betrayal
What happens when Trust is broken in a relationship?
Affairs often happen out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly.
A frustrated partner may begin to vent to friends, co-workers or start to reconnect with old friends and former classmates on social media. Innocently, many of us reach out to others to find some emotional intimacy and connection. How vulnerable at the time or how disconnected we are from our partners, sets the stage for an emotional or physical affair.
Matt Hoelscher developed EC3, Emotionally Connected Couples Coaching, and I am a certified practitioner. Here is Matt speaking about Stage 2 - Infidelity & Betrayal.
What happens when Trust is broken in a relationship?
Affairs often happen out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly.
A frustrated partner may begin to vent to friends, co-workers or start to reconnect with old friends and former classmates on social media. Innocently, many of us reach out to others to find some emotional intimacy and connection. How vulnerable at the time or how disconnected we are from our partners, sets the stage for an emotional or physical affair.
Matt Hoelscher developed EC3, Emotionally Connected Couples Coaching, and I am a certified practitioner. Here is Matt speaking about Stage 2 - Infidelity & Betrayal.
Openness with another creates a sense of comfort and unconditional acceptance that can be very seductive. When you feel heard and understood, it draws you in, and you want to explore the new friendship more fully. In time, the closeness sparks a desire, and passions erupt leading to sex.
As we all know, sex is a powerful emotional experience and triggers feelings. The straying partner usually finds happiness and relief! Oftentimes out of guilt or a newfound openness, they can become more loving to their partner and the relationship will improve.
The spouse is happy, but intuitively they may know that they are not the source of this happiness and therefore need to figure out the source of the change in their re-engaged mate.
On the flip side, the cheating partner may begin to pick more fights with their spouse. They are upset that their spouse doesn't understand them the way the new lover understands them and resentment builds in the cheater as well.
The straying partner may deny the affair and try to squash the suspicions of their partner by saying they are “crazy” and “paranoid.” The deeper damage caused by the betrayed partner is the beginning of self-doubt of themselves. They begin to deny their our intuition and knowing. When they find out they were correct in the first place, there is double the destruction to repair.
There is now the betrayal of sexual fidelity and outright denial of intuitive feelings and knowing.
Betrayal comes in many forms:
No marriage can last without learning to understand and overcome betrayals. All marriages experience betrayal in one form or another from time to time. Learning to forgive is an important step to build a strong relationship.
Stage 3: Stay or Go
As we all know, sex is a powerful emotional experience and triggers feelings. The straying partner usually finds happiness and relief! Oftentimes out of guilt or a newfound openness, they can become more loving to their partner and the relationship will improve.
The spouse is happy, but intuitively they may know that they are not the source of this happiness and therefore need to figure out the source of the change in their re-engaged mate.
On the flip side, the cheating partner may begin to pick more fights with their spouse. They are upset that their spouse doesn't understand them the way the new lover understands them and resentment builds in the cheater as well.
The straying partner may deny the affair and try to squash the suspicions of their partner by saying they are “crazy” and “paranoid.” The deeper damage caused by the betrayed partner is the beginning of self-doubt of themselves. They begin to deny their our intuition and knowing. When they find out they were correct in the first place, there is double the destruction to repair.
There is now the betrayal of sexual fidelity and outright denial of intuitive feelings and knowing.
Betrayal comes in many forms:
- Affairs - Physical Sexual Infidelity
- Emotional Infidelity - forging an emotional friendship
- Accidental Pregnancy
- Money - Spending money without conferring with your partner
- Time
- Attention
- Porn
- Sexting
- Flirting with friends
- Video Game Playing
- Gambling
- Drinking
- Recreational Drug Use
- Hobbies
- Sports
- Work
- Gym
No marriage can last without learning to understand and overcome betrayals. All marriages experience betrayal in one form or another from time to time. Learning to forgive is an important step to build a strong relationship.
Stage 3: Stay or Go
Call me now to schedule your first session @786-200-2996 . . . . and you will be amazed at how easy it is to heal any betrayal with Emotionally Connected Couples Coaching (EC3)!
